ODE TO DAVID
We worship you, worship you, David Hasselhoff!
Where do you live? In a castle of course,
with lawns awash with your fans,
glorious choruses, playing of bands,
the joy and delerium of being quite near
to Hasselhoff! Hasselhoff! Hasselhoff's here!
We adore you, beseech you, implore you oh lord,
drop down your shield and show us your sword!
One time we tried to hire out a glider
to fly over you and Kitt filming Knight Rider.
Then into an elephant I cut a gray notch
before sitting down to see you in Bay Watch.
The Hasselhoff doll that I keep in my room
full size with a jacket that I pray to in times of prospective doom,
it saves me, delivers me, exports me to lands
where I'm shielded from danger by your gentle hands.
But most of all we adore your heavy brown hair,
your muscular body and jaw firm and square.
Oh Hasselhoff, Hasselhoff, Hasselhoff D -
I fancy you, do you fancy me?